“In Full Bloom”  By Debbie Mercer.

Mary Ahern and Dave Ruedeman Find Inspiration in Life – and Each Other. May 2024

Circles figure prominently in the lives of Mary Ahern and David Ruedeman. In her woodland garden and in her paintings, circles represent women. In a romantic example of life coming full circle, the two worked together, lost touch, and found each other again. Their first official date was on wheels – a memorable bike ride in which Mary got a flat and Dave came to her rescue.

But if you ask Mary, she’ll likely tell you it was all more of what she calls a zigzag. You see, these two are masters of the pivot. Throughout the years they’ve continuously reinvented themselves, whether out of a financial need at the time or simply an innate, overwhelming desire to learn new things and break new ground.

Forging a Path

Mary started out on a pretty straightforward course. She was raised in a traditional European upbringing in which her parents didn’t believe girls should get a college education. Mary finished high school, married at 20, and raised two small boys. “I didn’t know any women who were educated,” she recalls. That all changed when she met Roberta Koepfer at the YMCA, a professor at Queens College who inspired her to take some classes. On Wednesday nights, Mary began taking oil painting. She had no background in art but after the fifth class, her teacher told her, “Mary, I can’t teach you anymore. You need more instruction.”

Mary put herself through college, earning an art degree from Queens College in 1980. However, divorce followed, and Mary found herself on her own with two small boys to feed. “I had no training, no skills to earn a living,” she says. A quick zigzag led her to work at Columbia University, where she studied computer programming for free, only to take a job where the money was – the burgeoning field of computer sales. She understood the potential, and ended up being part of the team who opened the first computer center in Radio Shack in Valley Stream in the early 80s. More work zigzags later, she ended up at Chyron selling computer graphics to the television and production industry. “You really needed to teach people what these things were capable of,” she says. “I was one of the only women in the industry. My fine art had to take a back seat. But I was doing my art through the equipment I was selling.”

Rediscovering Each Other

The “go-to” guy at Chyron was Dave Ruedeman, who had a degree as an electrical engineer. “That’s where I stumbled on my life’s work,” he says. “I found out I was put on this earth to be a problem solver. I had to finish an abandoned computer design, which was crucial to the survival of Chyron. Delving in new technology and gaining an intimate understanding of how computers work was, for me, life changing.” As the head of engineering, Dave’s team were the ones who were creating the equipment that Mary was selling.

Fast forward about eight years. By then Mary had, as she says, “gotten a concussion on the glass ceiling” and started her own company. “I spoke tech, so all of my clients were smaller engineering firms. I was like an outsource marketing dept. I would get a photographer and shoot the products and then put the logos on digitally. I was consulting and creating brochures.” She took on the internet and taught herself how to design websites. On business trips she would take along her art supplies to relax – and once again reignited her passion. “My art started to seep back into me. And I knew I had to pay attention to it,” she recalls.

As fate would have it, one of her freelance gigs at the time involved writing an operation manual for her old company Chyron. She ran into Dave while there one day and the two caught up. He suggested a bike ride out to Eaton’s Neck, and Mary agreed. It was only when they pedaled out there that Mary discovered Dave too was divorced, and that this was, in fact, a date. Once back at her house, Dave saw her art hanging on the walls and was totally knocked for a loop. “I had no idea what she was about,” he says. “It actually blew me away.”

They tied the knot in 1997. By then Mary’s garden, which she’d begun in 1989, was itself a work of art – so much so that Dave encouraged her to design gardens for others. That led Mary to Farmingdale College where she graduated with a degree in horticulture in 2000 – 20 years after earning her art degree. A turn at the New York Botanical Gardens soon followed, where Mary earned a 2-year certificate in botanical illustration.

 

Bike Cruising, Art, and the Garden

In the meantime, Dave did his own zigzags. He got his master’s in computer science in 1983 and started designing software. About 10 years ago, he took his love of biking up to a whole new level and started doing “centuries” – one hundred mile rides out to Montauk via a scenic route. Longer distances and more intricate trips soon followed. He’s done RAGBRAI (Register’s Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa) – twice. “RAGBRAI is a thing of beauty,” he says. It covers 400-500 miles, and the route changes every year.

Riders dip their rear tire in the Missouri River when starting and their front tire in the Mississippi River at the end. For those trips, he joined an outfitter to move his tent, gear, and supplies up the road while he biked. “It’s a great incentive to keep going,” he laughs. “My clothes were fifty plus miles ahead!”

“He’s a more powerful biker,” Mary says. “He’ll ride 50-80 miles a day which isn’t my style. I’ll do 20-mile rides and stay on the bike paths.” Together they have taken bike cruises from Paris to Amsterdam, as well as Portland Oregon along the Columbia River, ending in Idaho. That first trip is truly a favorite memory for the couple. It coincided exactly with their 25th wedding anniversary, when they arrived in Paris and were greeted with champagne, balloons, and hearts on their hotel bed – courtesy of Mary’s daughter-in-law Sherri. “We couldn’t believe it,” Mary laughs. “It was so fabulous.” In another one of life’s sweet moments on that trip, Dave saw the Tour de France from the Champs Elysees, while Mary literally bumped into it later when she exited the Louvre. The two have other biking cruises on the horizon. In June, they’ll be heading down the Danube River, starting in Prague and ending in Budapest.

Today they’re retired in a non-retirement sort of way. “We don’t call this retirement because we both work intensely,” Mary explains. “But we’re working now at things we enjoy.” Dave does consulting and teaches IT for companies all over the world, including a NATO group earlier this year. In an interesting twist on today’s modern roles, he’s also “tech support” for his grandson – a fact which they clearly love.

Mary’s artwork continues to anchor her. Her solo exhibition “Not Just a Pretty Flower” featuring her large Georgia-O’Keeffe inspired artwork, is on display at the Atelier at Flowerfield through the end of May. It’s a provocative exploration of what she views as the interconnectedness and balance within the microcosm of her garden and the macrocosm of the cosmos. “The paintings are large so that they demand conversation,” she explains. “That’s why I want to do big paintings. So that it’s in your face. Why is she doing this? Why is it like that? What is the message?’ That’s my latest body of work.”

She also volunteers her time as the Public Relations Chair of the National Association of Women Artists which is celebrating its 135th anniversary this year. “I love paying it forward to help empower other women artists to achieve the success they envision for themselves. Feminism, Artists, Empowerment, these are my sweet spots.”

Not bad for two people who reimagined themselves through hard times and ended up on the other side. They’re clearly savoring each moment and drawing inspiration from each other. “Our lives were not easy.” Mary reflects. “We crawled over broken glass to get where we are now. So, every day we look at each other and we laugh and hug because we’re so joyful. We can’t believe how lucky and happy we are.”

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